We Wouldn't Have Survived Snapchat

Aimed and Left "On Opened”

Last week, I had the joy of seeing Emma W. (13), one of our most loyal HTBLO youth contributors, in real life. Her mom Shira (dear friend) was having a trunk show for her company the10 Jewelry, so I got to look at gorgeous pieces of gold whilst low-key gathering intel from a live-youth.  Emma and I have been doing most of our HTBLO correspondence over text so I hadn’t actually gotten eyes on since her Bat Mitzvah this past February! Emma has transformed from cutie tween to a beautiful teen in under a year. It’s mind-blowing what a difference nine months can make in the life of a youth!

Emma gave me two compliments straight away. Loved my sweatshirt and thought I smelled good. Nothing like a compliment from a youth. You can really put a youth-compliment in the bank and take it out, interest accrued, on a rainy day.  Over the course of the night, Emma said two things that really hit my ear: AIMED and ON OPENED.

We peeled ourselves away from the solid gold to talk about how one of Emma’s VERY COOL friends follows Shira (Emma’s mom) on Snapchat. Because Shira is a cool mom and the owner of a fine jewelry company she has some cache with the 13 yr-old-girlies.  A cool kid in any school across America is going to hold weight but the gaggle that Emma runs with is next level. I believe some of them already have brand deals but don’t quote me on that. So apparently “Samantha” messaged Shira on Snapchat and Shira didn’t respond or as Emma called it left her “on opened.”

Before we unpack that, we need to sit with the fact that Shira is on Snapchat. I made a lot of assumptions about her presence there and all of them were wrong.

• I thought she was on Snapchat under the10 Jewelry for marketing purposes. She is not, she’s there as herself. Just sitting there plainly as an adult.

• I assumed she was there to high-key spy on Emma. Shira said, “It’s not possible to spy on Snapchat. That’s why they are all there. It’s spy proof. It’s so annoying.”

• I assumed she knew how to operate the platform, she doesn’t. “I only know how to do one thing.”

I asked why then was she there? She said — and I respect the hell out of this answer — “Literally trying to be cool.”

So apparently some of the girlies are following Shira because they think she’s a cool mom (and I suspect are trying to score some gold.) “Samantha” messaged Shira and Shira left her ON OPENED! Emma said incredulously, “Mom you left Samantha on opened.” Shira was unaware that she had indeed done such a thing and inadvertently flexed on this child. So much so that the child told Emma about it. Sam was shooketh! To be left “on opened” by a mom was not on her 2023 bingo card!

Now “on opened” is a close cousin to “on read” but somehow it feels even more menacing and ominous. “On read” feels like a specific incident. You texted a friend who has “read” notifications enabled, you see that they’ve received your text and haven’t responded. It smarts but you can rationalize it away - they are on a work call, they saw it at a red light etc. “On opened” just doesn’t seem to have an end in sight, it’s a loop that simply can’t get closed.

This brings us to the next bombshell: AIMED

Emma mentioned something about a snap being aimed at a classmate. My ears perked up and I sharpened my pencil. This is the sort of field work you can expect from team-HTBLO. Now, I’m gonna warn you that aimed is a doozy. The concept would have sent me straight to the looney bin in middle school. It activates every single neurotic neuron available in the ol’ noggin.

Emma W. (13): If something is “aimed” they posted it on an account with like 8 ppl and the person isn’t on it and it’s generally abt a situation going on that everyone on that account knows about.

GULP.

So a group of pals have secret micro accounts where they post about the drama going on in a larger friend group. DEAR WORLD SWALLOW ME WHOLE! Just the idea of this has me pitting out.

I asked, “Does anyone ever leak the information revealed in the aimed post?”

Emma W. (13): Not really because everyone on your super private account is trustworthy it’s like your 5 best friends and u just post random stuff and u don’t have to think abt it.

I asked to see an aimed snap. She showed me a snap from a pal - the pal had a great blowout and was saying something I couldn’t quite make out but the vibe was powerful. She was getting something off her chest. Emma cosigned that it’s a way to burn off steam about a person or situation without having to confront them directly.

I marched over to TikTok and punched aimed into the search engine.

@hholliepaige#foryou

Tiktok failed to load.

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Ultimately aimed seems like the video version of a subtweet. You are posting something targeted at someone else but not sending it directly to that person. It’s maybe not, dare I suggest, the healthiest way to deal with conflict.

In conclusion, I would take being on opened a million times over being aimed at or even aiming quite frankly. It’s been a minute since I was thirteen years old but I feel fairly confident that these aims are not staying a secret for long. Someone is spilling the beans at some point. Gossip is the only currency you have at that age and teenage girls are the biggest flip floppers in the land.

Also! If you are in the market for a killer pair of hoops can I suggest The ShayHoops from the10 Jewelry. Have you even gotten yourself a gift yet?!

If anything new has come across your desk please don’t hesitate to reach out and share it with us. We are in this together!