The Diddy Trial Is Making Me Sick

Meryl and Martin to the rescue!

Yesterday was Day 9 of the Diddy trial and it’s making me physically ill.

It was over a year and half ago when I stumbled onto Jaguar Wright’s social media content. I found her by way of a Tupac deep dive, ignited by Jada Pinkett Smith’s book tour.

Jada referred to Tupac as her soulmate even though the two weren’t romantically compatible. Curious if there were any clips from their time together I dove right into an old video of Tupac attending the Baltimore School of The Arts. The hard AF rapper persona he had was nowhere to be found. In fact, I would file a 17-year-old Tupac under: sweet, smart, theatre kid.

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Things are not always as they seem and that’s certainly the case where Sean Puffy Combs is concerned. Before hearing Jaguar’s take on Diddy I thought he seemed like a pretty great guy. Any time he would perform it felt nostalgic and fun, loved his little dances on social media. Loved how he always shouted out all the baby mamas on Mother’s Day. Thought he had beautiful relationships with all his kids and cried with him when his ex Kim Porter died unexpectedly.

Diddy was manipulating our perception of him and we were buying what he was selling. Here’s what PopSugar wrote back in 2017 —

Is Diddy one of the best ex-boyfriends ever? On Mother's Day, the rapper and mogul not only celebrated his own mom, Janice Combs, but also shared heartfelt posts honoring the three mothers of his six children via Instagram. The first one went out to his high-school sweetheart, designer Misa Hylton-Brim, who gave birth to son Justin in 1983; followed by Sarah Chapman, the mother of 11-year-old daughter Chance; and Kim Porter, who he had an on-again, off-again relationship with from 1994 to 2007. Diddy adopted and raised Kim's son Quincy (born in 1991) from a previous relationship, and they share son 19-year-old son Christian and twin daughers D'Lila and Jessie James, who were born in 2006. A photo of each woman was captioned with emotional messages.

So when I stumbled upon Jaguar talking about “freak offs” and “tusi” I was both disturbed and riveted. Now the phrase “freak offs” has made its way to the general public but a few years ago Jaguar was the only one with “freak offs’ on her lips. Jaguar is a singer songwriter in her own right and worked with artists like Jay Z and The Roots. But people in the comments thought she was crazy. Just another bitter artist trying to take down people more successful than her. The shit she was saying seemed so far fetched and disturbing that it was easy to dismiss her. That said the truth has a certain ring to it and the more I listened to her, the more believable it became. I sincerely hope Jaguar goes down as one of the great whistleblowers of our time.

Now seeing so much of what Jaguar disclosed playing out in court I’ve found myself wanting to keep up. But as I clicked on the trial updates yesterday, my body reacted.