I Never Went Back after My Physical Therapist Called Me This!

And I'm not even sure what it means!

My 6-year-old likes to pretend she’s a dog named ruff-ruff. One morning, in typical fashion, we were running late for school, which is a brief and breezy block and a half away from our house. And yet? Her shoes are never on, the water bottle is never filled, we can never find her coat. Let alone what I look like – a disheveled manic woman who for no apparent reason desperately cares about her being late for kindergarten.

So this morning, after saying “put on your socks and shoes please” for the mp-teenth time…she pulled out her last bag of tricks. Ruff-ruff. “But I'm ruff-ruff and I’m a dawwwgyyyy. and I dont wear shoes.” And she curled up in a ball. 

Friends, I bent over and attempted to pick up ruff-ruff and immediately experienced what felt like ripping, but instead of an excited kid tearing off wrapping paper on a birthday present, it was my back muscles. Through my tears, I calmly tried to ask ruff-ruff to bring mommy her phone. My neighbor walked her to school, and I spent a long time whimpering in my own ruff-ruff inspired ball on the floor. 

I wish I could say that this had never happened before, but I have a long history of throwing out my back. I had even RECENTLY been in physical therapy for this exact issue. And yet? So this time when I threw out my back, I expected it to be like all the other times. Maybe an uncomfortable week, taking things “easy” and popping lots of Advil. But after four trips to the chiropractor, sobbing through an extraordinarily painful acupuncture session where she inserted a needle into my foot and said “this is connected to your psoas,” and a trip to my general practitioner, I was still walking like a very sexy and sexual grandmother who everyone daydreams about boning. 

I knew I needed more help so I decided to start fresh with a new physical therapist. My neighbor Dennis would never shut up about this great person he found after rotator cuff surgery. And this person was somehow almost around the corner from us. 

By the time I finally have my first appointment my back is 89% better because healthcare – but I am approved for 10 sessions so I plan to use them to become invincible. Until — this happened.